When you are diagnosed with ADD - ADHD as an adult it means that there were many "un-mindful" years that one had lived with their ADHD running rampant, alas, unknown. As I sit here watching the snowfall head into 3 feet, fully aware when I am pausing my focus on work to focus on the storm, it struck me that I gave away so much of my youth to distractibility and impulse. Lost time living in the state of unawareness, un-mindfulness was the norm.
So rarely did I truly pay attention to conversations. So rarely did I ever stop to truly take in the enormity and joyous feelings that were cfreated during special events, never mind day to day living. So rarely did I remember whatever it was that I wanted to remember. Between the ADHD, the usual unawareness of youth and the cultural state of "auto-pilot" it seems that i just floated on cruise control much of the time instead of mindfully choosing, mindfully making decisions based on how I wanted to experience my life day to day. Certainly I took in what interested me and had lots of fun and adventures along with all that schooling. Yet looking back it seems that I rarely was purposefully in charge of my mind, my words or my actions. (Wouldn't my teachers and parents love to read this!)
No 'do overs' allowed! However, living life fully, mindfully in each moment today, I sure can squeeze in a lot more of life than I ever would have imagined possible. I can choose what I want to think, feel, say and do in each moment. Mindfulness puts ME in charge of me, my ADHD and my life. Outside forces interfere with and often steer the path in unexpected or unwanted directions, but I decide how to proceed with each of those unexpected paths. Thankfully along with ADHD comes the gift of creativity. I can use it or give it away to distractibility and disorganization. I choose to use it.
What are you choosing today, in the next moment? If today is a 'snow day' for you or just a regular ole' work day, bless yourself with mindful living. I am going outside in the blizzard and mindfully make snow angels and then come in and play with my Wii. Always remember, mindfulness matters.
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