ADD-ADHD Mindfulness Matters Musings

ADHD & CHOOSING A SMARTPHONE

I've recently been asked which is the best smartphone for a person with ADHD. Considering that it took me 3 years to make that decision and then to actually buy it, I had to smile (OK GRIN) that someone wanted that information from me! Here is what I replied:

First you need to decide which wireless company you want to go with, unless the specific phone you choose is only offered by one particular carrier. Then you want to make a list of everything that you need your phone to do for business, for organization and for fun. My suggestion would be to start by trying out the 3 most popular ones, Blackberry, Android X, and iphone and decide which one is best for your needs. You can go to your local wireless phone company stores and tell them that you want them to teach you about the phone and then they will lead you through it and then leave you alone to let you play with it for awhile. This is what I did. Also, spend some time with your friends phones and read the manuals. Get a feel for each one.

It really depends on your individual needs, your level of tech savvy, your particular computer system and the software that you use daily (remember that you will be syncing and backing up your phone to your computer). Take notes at each store or friends house so that you can remember what you've discovered and decided and list the pros and cons as well as your questions. Good luck with your exploration into a new adventure.

always remember, mindfulness matters

"ADHD & Laundry; Look Before You Dump"

Doing laundry with ADHD can be very frustrating, and expensive.  For months now my fine silk washables and delicate sweaters have been piling up next to the washing machine waiting for me to take the time to slowly read and follow the directions on the special detergent that the kind woman at the Dry Cleaners gave to me.  I wanted to be sure I had the time and patience to be extra mindful. 

Apparently that time had come, or so I thought.  I'm not sure when but it must have been some time during the past week.  Today I decided to wash my blanket and slippers.  I quickly stuffed them into the washer and ran back upstairs to flee the freezing basement.  An hour later when I threw them into the dryer something caught my eye in the washer.  Sure enough, there were the fine silk washables and my delicate sweaters sitting at the bottom of the machine.  Even though all of my windows are closed I am sure that my neighbors must have heard me scream and then scream again.  So much for careful planning. 

There is a lesson that goes along with this confession.  Either heat the basement, move the washer and dryer upstairs or breathe, meditate and take your meds before attempting to do something that requires extra focus!  always remember, mindfulness matters!

"ADHD & SUNSHINE or DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOMEWORK TILL SUNDAY"

60 degrees, that is what it is supposed to get up to today.  Believe it or not, that is bathing suit weather in Vermont.  Because I went to an all day conference on "Ethics & Mindfulness" on Friday, I'm a day behind on my work.  So the age old dilemma still prevails, when do I do all the billing, bookkeeping data entry, phone calls and various other paperwork that I normally do on Friday's? 

One of the classes that I took many years ago from the amazing Jennifer Koretsky taught me how to manage the different roles that I have as a solo business owner.  How to prepare for or make up time that is normally delegated for something else was covered, learned and utilized ever since.  

'Yeah Butttt', there is hammering, there is stomach bug, there is...  So much for Saturday.  And now it is Sunday.  The sunshine, a somewhat rare commodity in VT, could blind you it is so bright.  I want to go out and play.

My mother's words will always ring in my ears; "Don't leave your homework until Sunday night".  She said it to me shortly before she passed away; it was one of our 'gags'.  Undiagnosed ADHD = every Sunday night rushing to do my homework so that I could watch Ed Sullivan.  

I did most of my billing on Thursday evening.  During the week I did all but the copying on a file audit that is due and I squeezed in most of the phone calls.  However, all of the mindfulness in the world still can't make 8 hours of work mysteriously disappear.  And now it is Sunday.  The sun is shining.
always remember, mindfulness matters.

ADHD & Self-Anger
Ever been mad at yourself? Well it is time to laugh about it. Enjoy!

ADHD & POSITIVE THINKING

This morning I was procrastinating, cruising the web trying to come up with an idea of what to write about today.  My ADHD N.E. Coaches Group sent an email and mentioned a blog by Andy Dooley.  He talks about Storytelling as a tool for changing your negative thinking and therefore changing your actions and behaviors.  In psychology this is called Cognitive Restructuring.  I like to think about it as "Positive Brainwashing".  By the way, in the 12-Step Programs they refer to it as "Fake it till you make it" and "act as if".  Whatever you choose to call it, your self-esteem grows from positive affirmations and droops with negative ones.

It is very easy for anyone at any time to get stuck in a rut with what we think, say and do.  For those of us with ADHD the 'rut' can become somewhat obsessive.  "Stick to you guns" is an old expression that sums it up pretty well.  Our choices stem from our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions.  Words, both spoken and silent are powerful. 

I truly believe that people with ADHD are very creative and if you think back you will most likely remember many stories that you 'made up' (either true or false) to offer explanations for 'non-acceptable' behaviors or obligations forgotten, or...

Today I challenge all of us to find one negative belief and not only substitute a positive belief for it but make up a story to go along with it.  As an example I will use a negative statement that I hear from clients way too often. "I am too fat and have nothing to wear".  The substitute belief could be, "My body is beautiful and I will find something to wear".  The story could be: 

Once upon a time and still to this day there was and still is a beautiful person named ________.  _______ has a closet and dresser filled with really nice clothes that she looks great in.  Today when _______ got dressed and looked in the mirror he was so pleased that she started grinning and dancing around the bedroom. As _______ was waving her arms around dancing and singing he stopped and looked in the mirror again.  Much to ______'s delight she realized that he felt 'juiced' to head on out and start her day, which was going to be terrific because life is as beautiful as she is.  The end.  mindfulness matters

ADHD & POST-IT NOTES

A posting on Facebook caught my attention and I eagerly clicked on it.  It was an advertisement from a Virtual Assistant for "Stickies".  Post-it notes for your computer windows. It is a very advanced, sophisticated, free program that almost sucked me in!  But let's face it, whether it is a physical slip of paper or a virtual piece of paper, it is NOT organization at it's best and it is NOT helpful for people with ADHD.  OK, that is my opinion but it is also a hard lesson learned over and over again.  They are so darn convenient.

Fast and efficient are often opposites.  Grabbing for a post-it quickly to write down information can mean another unfiled piece of paper hanging around, or worse, a lost or forgotten number or date which equals a lost opportunity. Taking a deep breath and saying to yourself or to someone else, "give me a minute to get my planner or PDA out so that I can put it in the appropriate place" can be rewarding on so many levels.  It cuts down on the step of re-entering the info.  It insures that you do not loose the info.  It reduces anxiety and brain-strain.  It is the self-caring thing to do.  "Stickies" are not.  Here's a tip; before checking your phone messages make sure you have your 'message book' in front of you.  It cuts down on the hastily grabbed scraps of paper, back of envelopes and post-it notes that pile up and get lost.  Be kind to yourself. mindfulness matters!

ADHD & HYPERFOCUS

I just read an article about a Professor in Dublin who is claiming that many of the famous people that were considered genius' throughout history probably had ADHD and produced their work due to the ability to hyper-focus.  "Clearly ADHD is not a guarantee of genius, but the focused work-rate that it produces may enable creative genius to flourish"

My first thought was 'wouldn't it be wonderful if we could turn it on and off like a light switch, wow'.  Although, I have read that people with ADD - ADHD do train themselves to do just that.  Hmm...  I believe that there is an emotional component to hyperfocusing.  When we like something, really enjoy doing it, then hypefocusing happens even when we do not want it to (that is when the egg timer becomes your best friend!).  However, hyperfocus on demand for tasks that we 'have to' do, well, that is another story.  

Take this blog entry for instance; I made a promise to Scott Lewis that I would write a blog entry this morning and have it posted by 12:30.  I am trying really hard to hyperfocus on this but my stomach is rumbling, my foot without a sock on it is cold, the recyclables need to be taken out and the cat is pacing like a hungry lion.  That is just a few of the thoughts that are distracting me at this very moment.  Hmm, where is that light switch?  How do I turn it on?  

I can focus on what needs to be done at any given moment but hyperfocusing is a different story, a different skill dare I say.  A skill is something that we develop and use on purpose when it is called for.  So that brings me back to whether or not it IS something that can be developed, whether or not it IS a skill?

According to Wikipedia: "Hyperfocus is an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses consciousness on a narrow subject, separate from objective reality and onto subjective mental planes, daydreams, concepts, fiction, the imagination, and other objects of the mind. It is the normal state that occurs during hypnosis, especially at theta levels".

In an article in ADDitude Magazine, Larry Silver M.D. says that College kids "go into a state of intense focus to get work done".  Is that true hyperfocus?  The author, Royce Flippin states: "...the tendency for children and adults with attention deficit disorder to focus very intently on things that do interest them. At times, the focus is so strong that they become oblivious to the world around them.
AHA! There it is, "oblivious to the world around them", that is the key, the difference between focusing and true hyperfocusing!

I am putting it out to you, my readers, to answer this question.  Is hyperfocusing, true hyperfocusing, a skill and can it be used on demand?

and remember Mindfulness Matters.

I'M ALIVE

Hello all of you wonderful people who have tried to befriend me and get to know me over the past two years.  I have been 'missing in action'.  I'm Back!

For 2 years I steadily traveled back and forth from Vermont where I live, to Florida where my elderly, ill folks lived.  I tried to run my therapy practice, my coaching business and my life while helping to take care of my parents. Unfortunately my writing suffered. Actually, because of the pain, I've been blocked  most of those 2 years.  Over a 2 month span I lost my Mother, Father and closest Aunt/ally.  We just had another memorial service in New Jersey last weekend so that all of our relatives could attend.  This huge, 3/4 of ones life, huge chapter of my life is physically closed.  Emotionally and cognitively it is very active.

I am ready to start writing again. I feel the need so strongly.  And here I am on this website, "adderworld.ning.com/profile/JudiJeromeLICSWLADC" choosing for some unknown reason, to write my first blog entry in a VERY long time. This must be "home". Thank you for that very needed and special feeling. 

So, here I am, all of my grown-ups are gone.  That truly makes me the grown-up.  Me, this professional woman with ADHD and so many years old (a woman has to have some secrets), so many years as an adult,  I am the grown-up that I have to depend on and get cudo's from, and hear the opinion of... ME.  How strange. How sad. How?

The support of professionals, friends, cousins, and the social networks that I have built is what I will purposely fill this empty hole with.  That is a big part of the "How?".  Trust in myself and allowing the grief process to transcend all 5 stages is a really big part of the "HOW?".  And the biggie for me, 'writing' is a very big part of the "HOW?".   Again, thank you all so very much for being there, here and everywhere. mindfulness matters

ADHD & GRIEF

I would like to offer a sincere apology to all of my readers, followers, subscribers, fans, friends and ADDers for not publishing this blog for so many months.  The illness and then loss of my mother and my special aunt along with the terminal illness of my father has kept me on a plane, in flux and writing in private. Cleaning out the house of 61 years of marriage, and the belongings of a family with ADHD, along with my grief, has clogged the creative writing part of my ADHD brain as well as my heart. 

Multi-tasking and balancing is more difficult when an ADDer is grieving.  Prioritizing and choosing what to let go of can be difficult for people with ADHD and we have to work very hard to achieve balance.  Our moods, schedules, activities, projects, tasks, joys, passions, play, work and various roles that comprise our life are all affected by our grief on a daily basis.

Like the playground "see-saw" of my childhood, everything in our life that we must balance hinges precariously on that middle point of production.  Being the smallest kid in my class each year meant that the other kids were always able to hold my end of that see-saw up in the air.   An ADHD coach is an amazing help in helping to form and maintain that middle "axle" that keeps you balanced.

As a child I struggled to ground myself and keep my playmates in the air. (I started see-sawing with younger kids!).  As an adult and an ADHD Coach, I use mindfulness and mindfulness meditation to calm ground and balance myself. 

Grief, two businesses, writing/publishing, and continual trips down south would seemingly be enough to clog the creative process.  The difficulty of letting go of my parent’s possessions and my overly sentimental attachment to these historical 'mementoes' that they collected over the last 61 years has taken up way too much of my emotions and time.

ADHD and Emotions, ADHD and Possessions, ADHD and Time management, ADHD and Grief: there I've been and still am but I am also back in the world of blogging!  mindfulness matters!

Mindfulness Matters Coaching®

Monday morning, too many choices, too little caffeine. Stay focused and mindful to survive and stay on track. tea - black!